How Do I Forgive This?

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”

Matthew 18:21-22

Let’s face it, some things are just so hard to forgive! I’m sure you have heard some stories in the past that evoke similar feelings. If you haven’t encountered such a story, let me tell you about Gbade. He had a seemingly perfect family: a wife that loved him and kids that adored him. They enjoyed seven years of happiness until tragedy struck. Gbade started cheating on his wife with his female boss and just three months before their seventh wedding anniversary, he disappeared with his boss for a happy life in Canada without looking back. 

Twenty years later, he reappeared empty-handed. Life had dealt him a big blow, and for all those years, his only reward seemed to be a divorce from his boss, who had grown tired of their twenty years together without children. 

How can Fola summon the courage for forgiveness? Even if she’s capable, how will she convince Williams and Jude to give their runaway father any space in their lives now? In that moment, she was reminded of the parable of the unmerciful servant. 

In the parable of the unmerciful servant, the master forgave his servant a tremendous debt – ten thousand talents, equivalent to several millions of dollars. However, the servant refused to forgive another servant who owed him a mere hundred denarii, a day’s wage worth about sixteen cents. Compared to what the first servant was forgiven, this was a trivial amount.

The principle here is, “the one forgiven much should forgive much.” In other words, the principle of forgiveness is that grace of forgiveness to another is without limit. The disciples are not to count the number of times they forgive. Rather, as the parable teaches, they are to forgive much because God has forgiven much.

In the parable of the unforgiving servant, Jesus is presents a principle that is similar to the basis of the forgiveness command for believers found in Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind to one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Though Jesus taught his disciples pre-cross, in the pre-church age, the underlying principle of forgiveness remains constant. Because God has forgiven us, we are to forgive each other. Therefore, because we have received much grace, “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8), we are commanded to give that same grace to others. 

Forgiveness is always difficult as long as we rely solely on our own strength. But when we remember that we were God’s enemies yet he was willing to lay down His life for us, we can realise that nothing is unforgivable. Ask God for the grace to forgive. 

PRAYER